work && choruss.

hello there.

my chorus concert is tonight

thats exciting...

i suppose except the fact that

i have to work

and i probably cant get off so thats lame

OH and they have me working christmas eve and i deff cant work christmas eve

and i said that on my application

i didnt check christmas eve!

but the have me working there anyways.

its pretty annoying.

and im not working

so ill probably get fired or something haha

which is awful.

but i dont care because i CANT work

im going out of town.

sorry bout your luck.

anyways.

thats life.

adios.

UGH

i thought i had all As
and i did
until today
when i took my test.
so now i have a B
and that sucks
and i kind of feel like crying my eyes out right now
i know its not a big deal but im just ugh
thats so frustrating
and i already told my fam and stuff
and they were all proud
and today started as a good day
but now it pretty much sucks butt.
so im angry
and in a bad mood
and pretty much wanna punch something real bad
CCCCRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP!

nightmaresss.

okay so i havent slept in probably almost a week. i keep having nightmares. dont laugh im serious. theyre about my dad and theyre really awful and its just the same two dreams every night. 1) well im like viewing it from outside of myself you know? like through someone elses eyes or something. my dad walks through the door and im sitting at the kitchen table and im like hey daddy! and he ignores me and i just sit there trying to talk to him. Eventually im screaming my lungs out at him DADDY! DADDY! and he just wont even look at me. its pretty much like i dont exist and for some reason i never get up and go like hug him or punch him ( not sure which one id rather do ). anywhoo the second dream; its viewing it from my own eyes this time. I can see my feet walking down the stairs, really slowly too. and i turn the corner and see my daddy sitting in the big blue chair he ALWAYS sat in and i walk over all slow and hes like hey sweet pea and motions me to sit in his lap... instead the next thing i see is part of a shot gun, in my hands, i shoot him, wipe off the gun and put it in his hands like a suicide, (which is how he really died) and then walk out the basement door and make sure it locks and then i wake up freaking out. when he first died i had a theory that he was murdered and didnt kill himself, but i never thought i did it so... yeah. these dreams are pretty awful, i mean theyre killing me... bad choice of words, but you know what i mean. anywayss, merry christmas adioss!

christmas

AHHHH im so ready for christmasss! 13 daysss! 13 wow. i have no presents and like 765423543 to buy. thats not good. but im ready anyways. not like everyone else here at school they are all ready for christmas... BREAK im just ready for christmas. ready to see my family and spend the day with everyone. Ready to watch people open up presents and stuff their faces. ready to see all the christmas lights. Ready for SNOWW! ready for santa with the little kids. and dirty santa with the big kids ha ha im just ready. but once it gets here im not going to want it to leave. :( ill miss it when its gone... if it ever gets here. feels like ive been waiting for a year or something. OH WAIT! i haveeee. but still. im just pumped. woot woot yeahhh! but to be a debby downer for a minute... i do miss my dad and wish that he could be here for this chirstmas. well for any christmas really but particularly this one because its the closest and id like to see him haha. since thats not going to happen i suppose i should quit wasting my time and wish for something more practical the raising some one from the dead. ANYWAYYSSS merrrrryyy! CHRISTMASSSS! ! ! !

winter slumps

I'm sick, its winter.

my throat hurts awful bad.

my eyes are running

my ears are too and

my nose isnt far behind

im always cold

i continuosly shiver

i pretty much cough all day

i sound like man

and i look like rudolph

i think i have the flu

i could be dying

but dont really care

i just want it to be through

my nose is bipolar

one side is running

the other i cant get to budge

my sinuses are absolutely crazy and

on christmas i wont taste the fudge

it pretty gross my feeling this way

and ive tried every remedy i can

im ready to pack

and say good bye to freezing

and say hello hawaii

and hello to a tan.